Guys and Love. — March 30, 2015

Guys and Love.

Recently, there have been a lot of people (mostly guys) asking for my advice on the topic of love. Most of these guys are teenagers and I bet that some of them have barely hit puberty. Here are some questions that they have asked me.


Q- How do I ask a girl out?

A- You ask her if she wants to go somewhere with you. My first date was to the movies. Just make sure that she does not pay for the date. Since you are the guy, you must pay for it yourself. Especially if it is the first date.


Q- I’ve been talking to this girl for about half a year. But, what do I say if she says that she wants to talk to my best friend and that she wants to go out with him?

A- First of all, she might just be talking to you because she just wants to get closer to your friend. Second, how come you have never put a move on her before? Third, you should tell her how you feel about her. Lastly, if you can’t think about at least three legit reasons of why you might want to get to know her better, then you are better off without her. I know that I’m hitting a low blow at the moment and I’m sorry.


Q- What should I talk about with a girl on the first date?

A- Don’t talk about religion, politics, news, opinions, etc. Don’t ask her what she does specifically as a job, where she lives, does she have kids, etc. If she seems to shrug off a question, then just move onto another question. If she wants to play 20 Questions, then let her. Tell her about your life as a child, the places that you have been throughout your life. What food you like, talk about the weather.

Q- How do I go through a breakup?

A- For some reason, guys have everything so much damn easier. From bodily issues, to hair, to clothes, even break ups. So, guys all have a different way of going through a breakup. My brother for instance, cried himself to sleep the first night, and woke up the next day sticking his face into a tub of ice cream. The next week, he was a new man. But, other people might have different approaches to recovery. My cousin for instance, joined the military. You know, from my perspective, you can just try to talk to her if she broke up with you. If you broke up with her, then well you should not be the one that needs to be comforted. It all depends. When you breakup with someone, you should do the things that make you happy.


Q- I’m in a love triangle. What do I do?

A- If you are in competition with another guy over a girl, then it is up to the girl. If two girls are in competition over you, well then, you are a lucky guy. If it is two girls over you, get to know both of them without them knowing and choose which one seems to impress you the most. If you are in competition with another guy. Then, try to get closer to the girl and impress her. Just remember that it is the little actions that lead to something big. Like, giving a few dollars to a homeless man, walking her home, picking up her books if they drop in the hallway, dressing nicely. Things like that. You can’t just buy love.

Love Stinks. — March 29, 2015

Love Stinks.

The play of Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare is one of the most known love story on the planet. Even though it is like five-hundred years old or something. Do you know what happens in this story? Well, it takes place in Verona, Italy. Two families who are very social in all ways loathe each other very badly. These two families are the Capulets and the Montagues. One day, Lord Capulet decides to throw a party for some event that is most likely unknown. Romeo (a Montague) is in love with the mysterious Rosaline and does’nt want to go to the party with Mercutio (a cousin of the Prince Escalus of Verona.) Romeo ends up going to the party with Mercutio, and guess what? He meets Juliet (Lord Capulet’s daughter.) They fall in love and by the end of the night, they are kissing. (Ok, here is the part that I should tell you and that is that, Juliet is “destined” to marry Paris, a count. She might have thought that the boy that she was kissing was Paris. AND, Juliet is only thirteen years old. Why the fuck would her father plan a wedding like this and why the fuck would her mother would let her get married? Thats worse than Disney and Love is an Open Door. Oh mah gawd, that song. Because Juliet even didn’t even get to give her opinion.) Party is over, Romeo and Juliet break ways and they both find out who each other are. A Capulet and a Montague. They get married in secret. Tybalt (a cousin of Juliet dies because Romeo stabbed him because Tybalt killed Mercutio) dies and Lord Capulet tells Juliet that she has to marry Paris (she is already married god damnit!) the very same week because Lord Capulet thinks that Juliet is mourning the death of Tybalt. Juliet goes to Friar Laurence (the person that married Romeo and Juliet) and he tells her to take a sleeping potion so that she does not have to marry Paris. Meanwhile, Romeo is banished to some place and he does not receive the letter saying the plan that went down with the potion with Juliet. So yeah, one of Romeo’s people finds out about the “fake” but real death of Juliet. Romeo is so sad. He goes to the grave site and he finds her. He kills himself. Juliet wakes up and she kills herself.

Dear Romeo and Juliet, you guys need help. And lots of it. I just don’t understand that both of your parents are rich and they couldn’t afford you help. Its like you have fucked up and crooked teeth, and you have all the things in the world even your own ocean, and yet, you can’t even afford braces. So, Romeo and Juliet met at a party. Isn’t that like meeting at a club? Romeo and Juliet kissed at the party, and it seems to me that Romeo forced himself on her. Isn’t that rape? Paris and Juliet were going to get married. Juliet is thirteen. Paris is about twenty-one. Isn’t that rape as well? Oh mah gawd. Shakespeare, you is gonna make me have a heart attack. I swear. There are so many things that are wrong with this play of yours. Know, I know where Disney got all of its inspiration. From Shakespeare. Its pretty sad because almost all of the main characters in Romeo and Juliet die. Characters such as Romeo, Juliet, Mercutio, Tybalt, Juliet’s mom, and other people. Its crazy.nI made a reference about Romeo and Juliet and Disney. The princesses of Disney meet a man and get married with them right away. Just like Romeo and Juliet.

Okay? Okay. — March 25, 2015

Okay? Okay.

So this Josh guy is not guy for me. I found out that he was a junior in high school at the time while I was still in 8th grade. My friend Valli, told me that I had plenty of ‘game’ because I was able to pick up guys that were older than me. Yes, I guess that I do. Okay, maybe I was too young for love at the time, but hey, it don’t mean that it hurts to try. (lol, I’m not gonna be a hoe. Don’t worry.) What I’m saying is that love has to be tried. I’m mean like, nothing will come to you unless you get up off your lazy ass and get it. (I swear.) Even if you did go and get it, if you get judged/hated on/laughed at, just remember that, if you don’t want to get criticized in your life then don’t even do stuff in your life at all. Heck yeah, I thought that this Josh guy was cute. With his tall stature, broad shoulders, blond hair, and freckles but, just but, maybe he was totally not worth it.

You wanna know what I learned today, it sometimes sucks to have your boyfriend go to the same school as you. 

Long story short, girl and guy that I know. They are dating and are in a “serious” relationship. *koff koff and raises eyebrows* (Hold up, they told me that they are in a “serious” relationship, and yet, the guy still goes around and talks to other girls, hugs other chicks, and buys other girls food while his “girl” is hungry out of her mind? Oh hell nah, that shit do not roll with me. I could have just told her, “You’re his side chick and I hope that you have realized this.” Anywho…?) They are sucking face in the middle of the hallway. Yes, the freaking middle of the hallway! Principal comes around and stops them. Makes them march into his office (Ok, I know that this is sounding creepy. Like the principal wants to get with them if you know what I mean. lol.) annnnd, he calls both of their parents. Principal makes sure that all of the classes that they have together are switched. But, I think that he is taking this way out of proportion. Principal makes sure that ALL of the classes are switched and that their lunch periods are switched and that ALL of their classes are on different sides of the building. Maybe he thinks that this will stop them from seeing each other? I don’t know what is wrong with that principal. I think he has something for the girl in that relationship. Who knows? I most certainly don’t.

Ok, lesson here is that, don’t make out and suck your boy’s face in the middle of the hallway and try to get away with it, and don’t stick around with a player. 

That’s all for now lovlies, I’ll update every other day.

Love you gals and guys for all of the support.

Cheers to…Love. (Or not.) — March 20, 2015

Cheers to…Love. (Or not.)

I think that love is way overrated. I mean like if you find it, then you find it, but other than that, you don’t find anything at all. It simply just means that you HAVE to wait, I mean, I’ve had all of my chances at love. I’ve met them all. The jocks, the jerks, the sweethearts, the ones that don’t really care because all that they want to do is play around with a girl’s hearts. Like that song by Christina Perri, Jar of Hearts. Or all of those songs by Taylor Swift. For some reason, love and breaking up is all what songs are about these days. What happened to the songs that were about a chair? I don’t even know. Its weird. Very strange.

So, back to this Josh guy.

Later that night in my hotel room.

“Ok, Valli, I’m going to check my Facebook.” For those who don’t know, Valli is my best friend that was there when this scene at the cemetery all went down with this guy.

“Oh shit, I have to watch this all go down though.” She tells me while brushing her teeth as I log onto Facebook on my Macbook Pro.

“I have a friend request! OMG ITS HIM!!!” I yell the second I logged on.

“Accept his ass, hes sexy as fuck.”

“I just did. Omg, he just sent me a message.” I could not believe what I was seeing.

“Read it!!!” Valli yells.

“OK. Calm your balls.” I tell her. “It says, ‘You’re JLean right? We met at Arlington this afternoon. My name is Josh. Do you remember me?’ I can hear his voice in this message, aww, he sounds cute.”

“You idiot, yes, he is cute. What are you even thinking? RESPOND!” Valli says while nearly blowing my ears out.

“What should I say though?” I ask her.

“Move!” She then pushes me out of the way of MY laptop and starts typing away.

“Oh mah gawd! Valli, what did you say?” I demand.

“Read it for yourself.”

“Fine. ‘Hey Josh. Yes I do remember you. My name is JLean, and I’m from Chicago. What about you?’ Are you freaking serious Valli?”

“Wut, I’m helping you.” Oh mah gawd, this chick is gonna give me a heart attack. Please come to my funeral people.

This Josh Guy. — March 18, 2015

This Josh Guy.

Hey guys, this is my first blog entry. (Yayyy!) So, here is a brief and short background about the author. I’m a Filipina, I live in Chicago and I am (blank) years old. I love to read and write. I used to write for Wattpad, but I want to set my mind to blogging instead because my style of writing is mostly in an expression form of some sort. Some other hobbies of mine include odd things such as event planning, cooking, cleaning (I know, a lot of people hate cleaning.), singing, and sewing. But, writing and telling stories is my passion. So, I thought about “vlogging” but then, I was all like “That’s gonna be hard. My face is not supposed to be in front of the lens.”


So, I think on this blog, I’m just going to write about everything and anything (for now.)


You wanna hear a short story? Ok, so for my 8th grade trip, my class and I got to go to Washington D.C for free. Yasss! Turn up on the bus going there! Well when we got there, we went to many sites. Such as; Arlington National Cemetery, The MLK Memorial, and the WWI, WWII, Vietnam, Korea, Iraq War Memorials, etc. So, my class and I were walking through Arlington National Cemetery. This cemetery is the biggest in the U.S. and the best one as well. The special cemetery that honors soldiers. My class and I were not the only people there. There were people from all across the walks of life. From kids from China to Europe, it just so happened that Arlington was a mixing pot of races at the time. I was walking up a hill with my friend, Valli. I’m 5 foot 1 inch and she is not even 4 foot 7 inches. We were extremely short and still are. There was another group of students from California that drove to Washington D.C. They were in high school at the time. This tall, hot, breath taking, white guy comes up to me. Out of all of the tall, skinny beauties that were in my class, this guy comes up to me. I swear, I can hear my classmates mouth’s drop to the ground. It wasn’t even funny. (Well it was. Because, I got game!!!)


So he is standing in front of me. Like 2 feet. I look over his shoulder and he looks at me.


“Hey, my name is Josh. What’s your’s?”


“JLean.” I swear, my heart is skipping beats at that moment.


“You seem like a cool person, by the way that I saw you making your friends laugh so hard a few moments ago.” He tells me, obviously watching all of my expressions.


“Yeah, its a gift and a curse. But, thanks though.” I tell him as he looks over his shoulder.


“Hey, I have to go. But here’s my number. What’s your name on Facebook?” He questions while handing me a sheet of paper and scribbling his number on it.


“My name is…Oh shit. I don’t have a pen on me.” I respond politely.


“Here, write it on my arm.” He tells me while forcing the pen into my hand. Gosh, he really wants to get to know me.


“Fine.” I say while writing my name onto his arm.


“Okay, it was nice to meet you, JLean!” He yells as he jogs away.


“OH MAH GAWD!” I hear Valli yell behind me.


“Oh shut up!” I tell her while blushing.

So, you like what you read. Follow my blog, follow me. I just started, so yeah. Its going to be good. I can feel it.